How I Built Confidence (Without Even Realizing It)

Confidence isn’t something you wake up with one day – it’s something you build, little by little. For me, it came through travel, trying new things, doing the stuff that scared me most, and most importantly, keeping the promises I made to myself. Whether it’s going to a new city alone, joining a group of strangers, or simply stepping outside your comfort zone – that’s where growth begins.

One of the most powerful things I ever did for my confidence was traveling and living abroad. I’ve lived in four different countries, and I can say with certainty: nothing helps you grow more than moving somewhere alone, especially when you don’t know a single soul. At first, it’s terrifying. But then, one day, you find yourself sitting alone at a restaurant in a new city – and not just surviving it, but enjoying your own company. That was me in Germany. It was the first time I truly did something completely alone, in a place where no one knew me. After dinner, I even went to a bar by myself. It wasn’t the most fun night, but it was freeing. It taught me that I could do it – and that changed something inside me.

Germany came to me at a time I was truly lost. From 2019 to 2022, I was stuck in a place – emotionally, mentally – that felt like quicksand. I wanted to leave so many times, but when it came down to it, I couldn’t. I would make promises to myself, and then break them. I remember one particularly hard moment, when I spoke to myself – or maybe to my inner child – and said: “I know I put you in this situation, but I promise I’m going to get you out. Next year, you won’t be here. You’ll be somewhere better. You’ll be proud of yourself.” And somehow, two months later, the opportunity to move to Germany came. I took it.

It wasn’t all pretty. In fact, it was one of the hardest years of my life – and one of the most important. I was working a job I had been searching for for years, only to realize it wasn’t for me. But I needed to go through that to understand what I did want. Growth often comes wrapped in discomfort. And through every awkward, scary, uncertain step, I found clarity – not just about the world, but about myself.

Eventually, I realized I needed time to reconnect with myself. And life gave me that. I slowed down. I took care of myself like I was learning to live again. I started pilates. I slept more. I ate nourishing food. I didn’t push myself to go fast. I let myself be bored sometimes, quiet, still.

And that was healing, too.

I realized I don’t want a fast-paced life. I like my hobbies, my routines, and responsibilities – but I need space. I need real human connection, people who see me for who I am, and a sense of community that doesn’t require me to be anything other than myself. I’ve started to see that confidence isn’t loud or bold – sometimes, it’s simply keeping your word to yourself. Sometimes, it’s whispering “I’ve got you” to the parts of you that once felt invisible.

I’m sharing this because maybe you’ve been there too. And if you have, I want you to know you’re not alone. Growth is messy. But little by little, we get there.