For most of my life, I believed things just happened to me – randomly or because of circumstances I couldn’t control. Growing up with challenges and instability, I carried a lot of fear, doubt, and negativity. And unsurprisingly, I often found proof that things would go wrong. It was as if life kept validating my expectations.

But over the past year and a half, something shifted.

I started choosing a different energy – slowly, and not always with grace, but intentionally. I began approaching people and situations with more openness and curiosity. I let go, little by little, of the belief that things were destined to go wrong. And something interesting happened: the outcomes started changing.

What I’ve come to realize is that our energy shapes our reality more than we think.

When I’ve gone into situations expecting the worst or feeling resentful or guarded, I’ve often attracted experiences that matched that energy. Whether it was a conversation that turned tense or an opportunity that didn’t work out, my own energy was a big part of the story. In a way, I was proving myself right, but only because I had already written the ending in my mind.

But the opposite is also true.

When I’ve felt genuinely hopeful, grounded, and aligned, things have flowed more easily. The right people show up. The right doors open. And it’s not  because I forced them to, but because I was ready for them. I was in the energy that allowed good things in.

It’s not magic. It’s not toxic positivity either. I’m not saying we can control everything. Truth is, life still throws challenges at us. But I do believe that how we show up (our energy, our beliefs, our attitude) does affect what we’re able to receive, notice, and hold on to.

This has changed how I move through life. Instead of obsessing over outcomes, I pay attention to how I feel inside. I ask myself: Am I aligned? Am I acting from fear or trust? Am I forcing, or allowing? When I shift my energy honestly and I stop pretending and actually connect with what I want, things tend to work out better. Or at the very least, they teach me something meaningful.

So yes, our energy matters. A lot more than we give it credit for.

If we can learn to work with it – not by faking it, but by truly tuning in – we open up new possibilities for ourselves. Not perfect outcomes, but aligned ones. And that, I believe, is where real growth and fulfillment begin.